16 August 2009

Rouge to Join Splinter Group


(Taking the drop at a secret location.)
The rumour mill is running strong word that old fart surfer Rouge could join the Splinter Group. The man himself has been silent on the issue but the Old Farts Surf Co. Head Honcho, Mex, gave a bearly perceptable knowing wink when asked the question. He went on to say that Rouge was one of the most naturally talented surfers he has ever had the pleasure of sharing waves with. No news yet from the Old Farts Surf Co. Hollow Timber Surfboard factory on an order for Rouge. To compete in the Splinter Gruop World Series surfers have to ride hollow timber surfboards.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Imminent announcement – confirmation that expat Tassie surfer Rouge has applied to join the Splinter Group.

Apparently Rouge is awaiting approval from the Tasmanian Woodworking Union – however they are concerned about his lengthy absence from Tasmanian waters and have asked for clarification of his status, unimpressed that he is considering re-entry via the refugee section.

Due to cutbacks in the budget, the TWU are attempting to close-out the financial year in the black. They asked Rouge to drop-in for an interview, and he appealed for the Union boss to waive the normal residency period. In a frosty pre-hearing session, the boss attempted to deck Rouge - apparently tempers boiled over as Rouge tried to carve his way through the regulations. Although he was caught inside TWU premises, the boss failed to pin Rouge down, a hasty departure followed with security staff on his tail as the old fart barrelled down the steep drop to the exit.

This reporter caught up with Rouge shortly after, and in response to his reasons for attempting to join, Rouge said he is seeking answers to complex questions such as:
1. When doing a re-entry why do surfers get wet lips?
2. When checking the coast why do old farts wear corduroy?
3. Does an empty barrel signify a poorly planned night or a late start?

AAP-Rooters